Diotrephes (Control)

Internal Struggle

Control

Diotrephes is mentioned in only five verses. In those five verses, we learn that he loved to be first, he refused to welcome the apostle John, he stopped others in the church from welcoming traveling believers, and he expelled from the church anyone who disagreed with him. He was running a church the way some people run a personal kingdom, and he was doing it in direct opposition to someone with the authority to call him out.

What Happened?

The apostle John wrote a letter to a man named Gaius commending him for his faithfulness and warning him about Diotrephes, who was apparently a leader in the same or a nearby church. John said Diotrephes loved to be first among them, did not acknowledge John’s authority, was spreading malicious nonsense about John with wicked words, refused to welcome traveling believers, stopped others who wanted to welcome them, and expelled anyone from the church who tried to show hospitality anyway. John said he would deal with Diotrephes when he arrived in person (3 John 1:9-11).

How Did Control Affect Diotrephes?

Diotrephes used his position in the church to consolidate authority rather than to serve the community
He responded to legitimate apostolic authority by dismissing it and spreading negative words about it
He made hospitality, one of the most celebrated practices in the early church, a matter of his personal approval
He weaponized membership, expelling anyone who welcomed traveling believers without his permission
His need to be first made it impossible for anyone in the community to act in ways he had not sanctioned
He is remembered in Scripture not for anything he built but entirely for what his control prevented others from doing

The Tragedy

Diotrephes has no recorded turning point. He is mentioned, described, and John says he will deal with him when he arrives. That is all. He is a character captured in a single snapshot of someone who loved to be first and built a structure around that love that made the community smaller, less hospitable, and less connected to the wider body of believers. His legacy in Scripture is a warning. His name is the reason the word for the specific sin of buying or selling church offices has never been attached to him, because his problem was not money. It was position. He wanted to be first, and he removed anyone who didn’t confirm that.

The Pattern That Led to Destruction

Positioned himself in a place of leadership and made that position about his own primacy
Refused to acknowledge authority that was greater than his own
Used language to undermine the credibility of those who challenged his position
Turned communal practices into gatekeeping mechanisms that required his personal approval
Expelled anyone whose behavior suggested a loyalty outside his control

Practical Steps for Facing Control

Ask honestly whether the way you lead makes the community around you larger or smaller
Notice when you are using your position to require approval for things that should not require it
Be willing to acknowledge authority that is greater than your own rather than dismissing it
Stop using language to undermine the credibility of people who challenge how you are operating
Ask whether the people in your community feel free to act with generosity and initiative, or whether they are waiting for permission first
Build structures that outlast your involvement rather than ones that require your presence to function
Notice whether your desire to be first is producing a community worth being first in